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unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

honestly my dad is such a freak he never says goodnight like a normal person he just says “i’ll be back” and he goes upstairs and when you ask where he is or go looking for him hes asleep and the next morning when you see him he just says “good morning im back’ like what is wrong with him

fartgallery:

readingaroundthemovies:

fartgallery:

i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches

Those r my mums initials…,

say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded

heckacute:

Is that a turd coming out of your butt or are you just happy to see me? 

taggedrne:

taggedrne:

when ur iphone charger starts wearing a turtleneck u know the end is coming

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oqk:

put 100 kids in a room…. kill 10… only 90 kids will remember this

nintenclo:

my parents’ initials are bs and ja and when they were dating they used to call each other bull shit and jack ass and i think that’s beautiful