stop replacing mirrors with ‘you look fine’ signs i know i look fine that’s why i want to look in the mirror
every girl in the universal regardless of ethnic background, class, sexuality, etc knows the universal mating call of the straight male
gf: babe come over
me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky
gf: my parents are out
this is the most important gif on the INTERNET
when she ready for round two but you look down and ur meat like
Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
Cashier: Are you 18?
Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.
Friendships between women are often the deepest and most profound love stories
when your parents try to explain a million things to you and youve just woken up